Adult Sexual Gratification

The Sexual Fulfillment by Joan. Part 1.

I have found that there are three primary avenues to adult sexual gratification. Reproductive Sex, Romantic Sex, and Recreational Sex. Sadly, just a small percentage of adults allow themselves to explore all three avenues of potential personal pleasure.

Some religious groups insist that sex should be limited to male/female intercourse that is geared to produce offspring. Reproductive Sex. These days, most adults have risen above such narrow thinking, and allow themselves to go beyond Reproductive Sex and enjoy a variety of sexual pleasures within the context of Romantic Sex.

It is the third avenue of sexual fulfillment that is missed by too many adults. While most single adults would prefer avoiding Reproductive Sex, many still experience `one-night stands,' etc. within the framework of modified Romantic Sex, not quite willing to acknowledge that they are being motivated by the RECREATIONAL aspects of sexual pleasure.

Fortunately, a growing number of emotionally mature adults, both singles and couples, have come to enjoy the liberating pleasures of Recreational Sex.

RECREATIONAL SEX

Recreational Sex, by definition, is sexual activity for the purpose of recreation (fun) period! It is not intended to produce offspring, and it is not intended to demonstrate love, or to be romantic. Within this category are all forms of sexual expression which are intended to produce MORE and VARIED sexual fulfillment for the parties involved.

In its broadest forms, Recreational Sex can include everything from masturbation to bestiality, from mate-swapping to same-sex experiences, from enjoyment of erotic art and literature to open exploration of fantasy-fulfillment, from experiencing anal and oral sex to experiencing exhibitionism and voyeurism.

Most people (couples and singles) who decide to open themselves to enhanced sexual fulfillment do not start by experimentation with the more extreme forms of recreational sex. Rather, they start (and often stay) with extra partner sexual fun. That is what this treatise will focus on.

EXTRA PARTNERS

Single adults who wish to scratch their sexual itch will often have one-night stands with a variety of sexual partners.

 They call this dating. In today's society, even the sexual side of dating is reasonably acceptable behavior. Married adults (or adults in other forms of committed relationships are generally frowned upon if society learns that they allow themselves to experience extra partners. For this reason, such couples must exercise a certain level of discretion, if they really want to explore Recreational Sex while retaining general social approval.

I happen to be an enthusiastic proponent of Recreational Sex for couples. I genuinely believe such SHARED erotic fun enhances existing committed relationships. I have never believed that committed and monogamous are the same thing. Monogamy is a religious concept that unreasonably binds adults, and stands in the way of exploration of one's real sexual potential.

We would never insist that a spouse commit to NEVER enjoy meals with anyone other than one's spouse, or to only experience the food prepared in a single kitchen. We would never insist that a spouse commit to NEVER enjoy sports or the arts with anyone other than one's spouse. Then, why do we insist that members of a couple forever restrain themselves from experiencing sexual pleasure with anyone other than one's spouse?

Naturally there is the issue of HONESTY between spouses in a committed relationship. When one spouse dishonestly has an affair or experiences sexual variety and hides it from his/her spouse, it can be destructive to the relationship. However, in the judgmental environment of most adult relationships, a spouse who acts out his/her need for sexual variety DOES NOT DARE to expose his/her fantasies/desires to his/her partner. Usually, to do so would spell disaster for the relationship. This is why I recommend that spouses start as early as possible in acknowledging each other's potential need for sexual variety and discuss it openly together.

Within an open environment between spouses, Recreational Sex need not ever put a committed relationship at risk. He may be granted the opportunity to experience the feel of another female body, or intercourse with another female pussy, or sexual activities that he doesn't usually experience with his spouse; but that should not diminish his love for his primary partner. She may be granted the opportunity to experience the multiplied pleasures of two simultaneous males pleasuring her body, or the unique tenderness of female-to-female sensuality, or an occasional new tongue or cock within her pussy; but that should not diminish her love for her primary partner.

COMMUNICATION

If there is any hope for the partners in a committed relationship to experience the potential pleasures and fulfillment of sexual variety, there must first be open communication between the spouses. There must be a willingness by both (each) party to allow the other to explore Recreational Sex when the opportunity arises. Tendencies toward jealousy MUST be intentionally suppressed. Both (all) of them must be willing to frankly tell the other(s) of fantasies, sexual wishes, outside partner experiences, etc. And, the other partner(s) MUST be non-judgmental and supportive as they hear such frank information.

Within the most open of relationships, there will come times when one of the partners feels that his/her spouse wishes for too much, or has experienced things that he/she does not feel comfortable with. To keep the relationship open and healthy, we must candidly express these reservations to the other(s). And, we MUST respect the current level of reservations our partner(s) express. Sometimes their concern for limitations is for our own or our mutual good. But, even if they seem excessively restrictive, they must be honored for the time being, as communication continues.

You may have noticed that in some cases above, I imply that a committed relationship could consist of more than two people. That is because the writer is part of a long-term, three-way committed partnership. We are not unique. Unusual maybe, but not unique.

In our case, we are two adult males and one adult female (me). Around the world there are many variations of the more-than-two-person committed partnerships. In our case, we have been together for more than a dozen years, and live as a relatively conventional family. The same principles of communication apply to us too. They are ESSENTIAL, if our primary relationship is to remain solid, while each of us continues to occasionally enjoy the special sexual fulfillment involved in experiencing extra partners.

GETTING STARTED

Unlike me and my two guys, most committed relationships have existed for some time (often for years) before some notion of Recreational Sex becomes a topic of conversation. Often it is thought about by one or both partners long before the subject is broached in conversation.

Sometimes shared reading materials, erotic art or videos lead to conversations about some form of Recreational Sex. Couples need to take advantage of such opportunities. and be totally candid with each other at those times. HONESTY... remember?

The partner who is LEAST interested in venturing beyond Romantic or Reproductive Sex should give the MOST ATTENTION to his/her need to have an open mind. It may be that this person has a lower sex drive than the other one, or lower at this particular point in their life. It may be that this person has medical problems which limit his/her capacity to pleasure their partner. It may be that this person has a lot of hang-ups that are carry-overs from their upbringing or religious background. Simply poo-pooing Recreational Sex ideas is no way to assure a healthy spousal relationship. Talk about it. Enable each other to open up to openly and honestly verbalize inner thoughts and wishes. But, most of all, DO NOT BE JUDGMENTAL!

Sometimes it is a good idea for both (all) partners to read TRUE stories about what other adult men and women do in their exploration of Recreational Sex. To read is not necessarily a commitment to do! Then, discuss what you have read. Use the Internet to discretely discuss your concerns and questions with others... while remaining anonymous.

PART 2 >>> |   PART 3>>>

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